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Too Old to Text?

2/1/2014

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Sir: 


I was somewhat taken aback by your recent message, particularly since I am not she for whom it was intended. Speaking as a published author, I must say that what your message lacked in romance and imagination, it certainly made up for in directness of approach. Should it reach the intended recipient I hope that the lady in question is duly impressed.

I was somewhat intrigued by your mention of a tailor. As I recall, the activity to which you allude requires no clothing whatsoever. Apparently, neither does texting, judging from your attached photo. Should further correspondence prove necessary, please leave off the photo

I soon realized that your intended word was not tailor, but trailer, as in  ”let’s go to your trailer.” I do not own such a mobile domicile, but I can well imagine that it might be a convenient place to, as you so quaintly state the matter, “Do it.” Perhaps I should look into acquiring a trailer of my own, but I digress.

Of all the many faceted aspects of your message, I as most intrigued by my own opportune location when I received the test. You see, I am a somewhat elderly gentleman, and I was seated in church at the time. Specifically, I was at a Christmas Eve service which celebrates a birth, an event to which your suggested activities might well lead. They appear to be of a less divine nature though, despite that fact that some might refer to their various such assignations as “heavenly.” I was in fact awaiting communion when your message arrived, suggesting a different sort of communing.

All of that said, I wish you and your intended the best of luck in your endeavors. Sincerely, A. Knave



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